I want to remind you that you are exactly where you are "supposed" to be. Intuition is an internal mechanism for processing experience that ultimately affects 100% of the decisions you make (to some degree; whether consciously or not).
When you speak of developing your intuition, you are not talking about "acquiring" anything. You're really seeking to become consciously aware of an inherent function of the Self. Sometimes I marvel at my own presumption -- that we both accept my offer to teach you to discover something you already possess; to use something you're already using, have always used, and always will use.
Does it really matter What Intuition is or How it works? Do you even need to understand it at that level (a bit of navel-gazing and philosophical masturbation, really) or would you be content with simply learning to use it better?
Another presumptuous irony in teaching/ studying, reading/ writing about Intuition is that it is not an Intellectual function; reading and studying -- Thinking -- about Intuition will not necessarily strengthen it. Thinking about Intuition is comparable to... oh, I don't know, like trying to Taste Noise.
Philosophically, you may be comforted to know that it is impossible to "mess up" any decision or choice of direction. See, we rush to that Dualistic judgment of Good vs. Bad Decisions. We simplify our intentions to believe that if we consciously trust our intuition it will result in a Good Decision, and that if we ignore our intuition it always results in a Bad Decision. It's more complex than that. We see going "against" our intuition -- rebelling against what we "know" because it resides outside the logical, Thinking Mind, failing to heed the still, small voice within, ignoring our gut instinct -- as some kind of spiritual immaturity, or self-sabotage, or unnecessary self-torture.
What if I asked you to consider that even your biggest, worst, seemingly self-sabotaging, unconscious intuitive "failure" may still serve you? If you "blow" it, it's because you don't yet "get" it -- and the necessary required Lesson is delivered in the form of this "bad decision."
So, really, forgive yourself -- as you are consciously and willfully intending to develop your intuitive abilities:
- be Brave
- be Gentle
- (at the same time)
It's All Valuable. It's All Exactly as It Should Be. You cannot "fail."
With intuition, there is no "wrong turn" or "dead end" -- everything is either Right Turn or an Alternate Route. There are detours, there are short-cuts that can only be called Going Around Your Ass to Get to Your Elbow -- but even those are never, ever "wrong" -- they just are.
When "grading" yourself in the area of intuitive development, the tendency is to think of it as a Pass/ Fail scenario. What if I told you that the only potential judgment is either an A+ (and anything else is a C-)?
You're either incredibly Gifted or Too Smart for Your Own Good.